what i read in january
february has come & january has gone. "away with the past. i've done with the old world for ever, and may i have no news, no echo, from it. to a new life, new places, and no looking back!" i managed to read nine books this last month, four pieces of nonfiction, five of fiction, so it was more equal than usual! i think my tendency is to neglect nonfiction, but this year i'm hoping to read at least one nonfiction work a month. i put together a little summary of what i read this month & my ratings, below:
the falsehood is steadily reiterated that 'Marriage is the aim and end of a woman's existence': and this without qualification. She is forced to believe that it is woman's duty to be a wife, somehow or sometime, unless she is a hopeless invalid or an incurable lunatic; that it is more desirable to be conjugally miserable than maidenly contented. She is taught, inferentially, at least, that she belongs in some mysterious manner to mankind; that she is the property of the generation; that she is a portion of the census. First and essentially she belongs to herself. Her individuality is more than sovereign, it is sacred. She has an unconditional right to her own disposal.
Human Nature, October 1874, p. 464
(excerpted in The Darkened Room, Alex Owen)
There's nothing funny in nature, however funny it may seem to man with his prejudices. If dogs could reason and criticize us they'd be sure to find just as much that would be funny to them, if not far more, in the social relations of men, their masters - far more, indeed.
The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, tr. Constance Garnett
what can i say about what i read in january ...
- the shape of darkness by laura purcell (2.75/5): i really liked the premise of this - purcell is so great at setting up almost tableau-like gothic victorians - with an elderly silhouette artist colliding with a young spiritualist to solve the mystery of why her few sitters keep being murdered. i hated the ending very much though, and the resolution just felt unrewarding, which is a shame because i tore through it to get to the solution!
- emily's quest by l.m. montgomery (3/5): i saw another review complaining about montgomery going on and on with poetic nature descriptions, but that was my favorite part of this one and most of montgomery's work in general. the romance was a little grating... i think my favorite of this series was the first one, but of course because of the time period there's a huge amount of cavalier animal death which is kind of jarring with the rest of the coming-of-age adventures lol
- how to be a tudor: a dawn-to-dusk guide to tudor life by ruth goodman (3.75/5): very informative and i really enjoy this nonfiction series about historical daily life, but it really reinforced that i would hate to live in tudor times...!
Frawgge Manufacturing Co (1994), Edward Gorey (Source)
- sleepless: discovering the power of the night self by annabel abbs-streets (4/5): after experiencing a series of personal losses, the author experiences insomnia and explores the history of women writing, painting, walking, and dreaming at night, describing the routines of lee krasner, sylvia plath, george sand, and more. a history of insomniac women, in a way... very lovely, beautiful, and relaxing.
- the darkened room: women, power and spiritualism in late victorian england by alex owen (3.5/5): a good overview of this time in history with appearances from both notorious and forgotten characters. a bit dry, but i think it's a good jumping off place to read other texts.
- the brothers karamazov by fyodor dostoyevsky, tr. constance garnett (4/5): i've already written a few of my thoughts here before so i won't go on too much... wonderful & timeless & worth reading over and over, really masterful in sketching out human nature. i wish there was more lise & more katya, but of course dostoyevsky went and died before any more could be written.
[...]
it is a peculiar characteristic of many people, this love of torturing children, and children only. To all other types of humanity these torturers behave mildly and benevolently, like cultivated and humane Europeans; but they are very fond of tormenting children, even fond of children themselves in that sense. It's just their defenselessness that tempts the tormenter, just the angelic confidence of the child who has no refuge and no appeal, that sets his vile blood on fire. In every man, of course, a demon lies hidden - the demon of rage, the demon of lustful heat at the screams of the tortured victim, the demon of lawlessness let off the chain, the demon of diseases that follow on vice, gout, kidney disease, and so on,
[...]
I am a bug, and I recognize in all humility that I cannot understand why the world is arranged as it is. Men are themselves to blame, I suppose; they were given paradise, they wanted freedom, and stole fire from heaven, though they knew they would become unhappy, so there is no need to pity them. With my pitiful, earthly, Euclidian understanding, all I know is that there is suffering and that there are none guilty; that cause follows effect, simply and directly; that everything flows and finds its level - but that's only Euclidean nonsense, I know that, and I can't consent to live by it! What comfort is it to me that there are none guilty and that cause follows effect simply and directly, and that I know it? - I must have justice, or I will destroy myself. And not justice in some remote infinite time and space, but here on earth, and that I could see myself. I have believed in it. I want to see it, and if I am dead by then, let me rise again, for if it all happens without me, it will be too unfair. Surely I haven't suffered, simply that I, my crimes and my sufferings, may manure the soil of the future harmony for somebody else. I want to see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the lion and the victim rise up and embrace his murderer. I want to be there when every one suddenly understands what it has all been for. All the religions of the world are built on this longing, and I am a believer.
[...]
If all must suffer to pay for the eternal harmony, what have children to do with it, tell me, please? It's beyond all comprehension why they should suffer, and why they should pay for the harmony. Why should they, too, furnish material to enrich the soil for the harmony of the future? I understand solidarity in sin among men. I understand solidarity in retribution, too; but there can be no such solidarity with children. And if it is really true that they must share responsibility for all their fathers' crimes, such a truth is not of this world and is beyond my comprehension. Some jester will say, perhaps that the child would have grown up and have sinned, but you see he didn't grow up, he was torn to pieces by the dogs, at eight years old.
The Brothers Karamazov, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, tr. Constance Garnett
- the change by kirsten miller (3.5/5): after reading more dense books, this was meant to be my lighter contemporary fiction read, but it was a little slow-going which made that difficult. i liked the general idea and wish i had enjoyed it more, but it was somewhat trite for my taste. i saw a review where someone said that there were no good male characters in this book (in a complaining way), but i only wish that were the case! i feel like "feminist" fiction is so chicken-wired into placating everybody with sort of shitty male characters who are actually "just ok" in the end and having a token good male character, even though people end up calling it manhater lit afterward anyway so it's really not worth it... i liked some of the characters and thought that it should have pushed harder on the magical realism elements, i think whenever it got too literal it fell flat for me
- the world of edward gorey by clifford ross & karen wilkin (4/5): a short collection of art criticism regarding edward gorey & an interview with him, as well as selected pieces of his work. finding out he did illustrations directly to their small size (as opposed to drawing it on a larger canvas, then sizing it down) was enlightening with how precise his hatching was - it makes it a little less intimidating, but moreso at the same time. the amount of manual control he had was really mindblowing ...
- butter by asako yuzuki, tr. polly barton (4.25/5): as i read this i told a friend aloud that i really liked it, so i really liked it! it's a story about a female journalist conducting a series of informal interviews with a woman on trial for murder of several men, except this femme fatale in question is fat, thus causing a media sensation. the protagonist is a retired princely-type from her all-girls school, which i also found interesting. there are some parts that i wish were better & overall i wish it was longer - i thought the characters were so engrossing. i expected it to be sort of silence of the lambs-esque with the focus on food and the prisoner interview type framing story, but it's not really a thriller like that, though i enjoyed it
Even if I end up dying alone, I don't think I'll resent people for it. I won't sit around waiting for other people. I'll use my own money to buy ingredients, make the food I want to eat, eat it how I like, and then die.
Butter, Asako Yuzuki, tr. Polly Barton
for february i'll probably make another monthly round-up post at the end of the month, but for now i'll post my tentative tbr and reading schedule. i try to be ambitious during the planning stage of the month, though sometimes i don't end up reading certain things or reading slower or faster depending on how i feel (obviously things don't always turn out according to how you plan them out...) something new this year i've been trying is to have a longer book (at least 500 pages, but the sweet spot is probably 800+), usually a classic but sometimes something more contemporary (like this month), and try to read a few chapters every day; that's my long-term read of the month. then throughout the month i scatter short-term reads, which are about 300 pages - so during the week i end up reading about 100 pages every day, half from my long-term read and half from whatever short-term read i have, and on weekends when i have more time i can do more. as it is i haven't really been lagging behind much which is nice!
excuse the messy screenshot. i thought when i made this blog i'd decorate all my pics with stickers and make them all match the drab green color scheme i love so much. but right now i can't be assed. lol
8 february 2025